I’m the type of girl that likes to plan everything.

When I was younger I had this picture in my head of what career I wanted, when I wanted to get married, how many kids I wanted to have, etc.

Over time I realized that things don’t really work that way, so I learned to be more adaptable. Even so, I still had this general “plan” for how things were meant to turn out.

Here I was, working at a job that I sorta liked, in a dead end relationship, going through the motions of life because it was in line with my “plan”.

Girl, was I ever in for a surprise.

Somehow, regardless of how much I planned - I found myself laid off from my job, single at 30, and spending my days laying on the couch watching Netflix with no motivation to do anything else.

That looks nothing like my plan.

Life doesn’t always go the way you hope it will. You can’t plan everything. Life takes you where it wants to - you’re pretty much just along for the ride!

That’s not necessarily a bad thing though. Life is an adventure and it would be pretty boring if it didn’t have its ups and downs and if you always knew what was right around the corner.

If you’re a “planner” like me, here are a few things you can do when you find yourself nowhere near where you hoped.


Breathe //

This may sound impossible, but don’t panic. I promise you that initial freak-out phase will wear off. There’s no rule when it’ll wear off exactly, but it will.

Take a deep breath and know that everything will work out the way it’s meant to.


Re-Evaluate //

Think about what it was you were working for or what it was you were hoping for, and figure out whether or not that’s what you actually wanted.

Lots of the time I get caught up in thinking there are “rules” for our lives that we must follow. I’d be lying if I wasn’t somewhat brainwashed into thinking that I needed to be married by the time I turned 30, have a set amount of money saved in the bank, and working at my dream job.

These aren’t the rules, ladies. You make your own.

Take some time to figure out what you really want. Chances are it wasn’t what you’d been killing yourself working towards.


Step Out of The Box // 

Now is not the time to be afraid. Now is the time to step outside your comfort zones. Besides, that’s where all the good things happen!

Take that cooking class you’ve been scared to take, talk to that cute guy you keep seeing at the coffee shop, ask those girls in your spin class to go for drinks, apply for that job you don’t think you’re qualified for!

Chances are you’ll discover a new skill or make a new friend!


Forgive //

When things don’t go the way you planned it’s easy to blame yourself. Let go of these feelings. Even if you made a mistake or think you were foolish for following the plan you were on - it doesn’t matter. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself!

It’s also not a good idea to hold the universe (or whatever higher power you may believe in) to blame for the way things turned out.

A negative attitude will never leave room for positive things to come your way.

Sometimes things just don’t work out, for whatever reason. Life goes on and usually in an upward direction!


Be Grateful //

Along with feelings of blame, you may have a feeling that you “wasted your time” or that nothing good came from your previous efforts.

This is also a disastrous way to think.

No matter the situation, I’m willing to bet that something positive came from it.

Be grateful for what you’ve learned from this. Be grateful for what you still have now. Be grateful that new things can now come your way.

Practicing gratitude is something we need to learn to do more of.

This may feel hard right now, to appreciate that things didn’t go the way you hoped, but those are generally the times when we need gratitude the most.