Sometimes the struggle to get through the day consumes all our energy. We wake up, look into the mirror and start finding faults with every last bit of us. We go through the day crippled by insecurity and we let it control all our social interactions. How many times did you fail to approach someone, talk to someone, because you thought you’re too boring, too ugly, and too useless to really be worth someone’s time? I used to be like that myself, for a very long time. I wish I could say something clicked in my head all of a sudden and I woke up feeling fresh, positive and happy with all that I am. In truth, it took a lot of trial and error and a lot of time to get where I am now. That’s why I want to share a few tips, in hope that whoever reads them takes my advice and stops wasting time on feeling insecure. If you want to know what you can do to boost your self-esteem, read on.
Change the way you think //
This is probably the thing that will happen last, but you need to keep it in mind before you begin and build your way up to it. If you tell yourself that you are worthless, that you are bad, if you punish yourself for every mistake, you will never get anywhere. But believing in yourself is a hard thing to do because an insecure mind rejects compliments and any positive thoughts. Even if everyone says you’re great, you’ll still find flaws and think that people are either lying to you or are just terribly mistaken. Here’s the deal – that kind of thought process stagnates you and it’s a quick way to a downward spiral of self-pity. It’s also very immature and impractical. If you make a mistake, fix it. If you don’t like something about your life, change it. It’s not about shaming you into doing things, it’s about realizing you have the power to change the things around you.
Start caring for your health //
If you want to feel good in your own body, you need to take proper care of it. This doesn’t mean you should focus on your looks only. Start with being good to your body, and try to keep it healthy. I used to be so obsessed with trying to lose weight and looking skinny, and it only made me very sick. I have celiac disease and it wasn’t until I started a specialized celiac disease diet and focused on keeping that under control that I felt better. I began hitting the waves again and surfing any day that I could. As soon as being healthy becomes your focus, you will finally be able to accomplish all your goals and feel good. Exercise, pay attention to nutrition, take care of your skin, your hair, pamper yourself. You need to put yourself first. Not out of selfishness or vanity, but because you will help no one if you don’t help yourself first.
Find ways to deal with failure //
The change won’t happen overnight, and you’ll still struggle sometimes. Instead of expecting a magical transformation, take small steps. Take them every day. If you stumble, that’s okay. Get up, and continue with your small steps. The way a person sees and deals with failure is a mark of how wise they are. If every mistake disappoints you and gives you more reason to hate yourself, you are not learning anything. If, however, you start seeing failure as a lesson, if you let it teach you something, you will be able to actually make things better in the future.
Immerse yourself in a hobby //
Whether this is a sport, knitting, crafts, or even coloring books, having a hobby is of immense help for anyone dealing with insecurity. It gives you something to focus on, it’s a way to escape reality for a few hours until you rest and recuperate. But most importantly, it gives you a skill. Having a skill, being truly good at something is exactly the right thing for your self-esteem. If you think you have no talent for anything, you really need to realize how little talent is worth compared to hard work. If you have an interest, pursue it. Nothing falls from the sky. Invest your time in it, learn and you’ll have something tangible at the end of the day.
While change needs to come from within, changing your external circumstances can be of great help. You won’t become wise by sitting at home and over-thinking everything. Get out, move, and do things. Learn all you can, treat yourself frequently, and remember to rely on those who love you for help.
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This guest post was written by Roxana Oliver.
Roxana is a travel enthusiast and lifestyle consultant from Sydney and she loves to write about her adventures. She is all about the healthy lifestyle, loves to run with her husband and dogs and has fun cooking exotic meals for her family. Being a typical Aussie, she often hits the waves and loves beaches and sunshine! You can find out more about her writing following her on Twitter and Facebook. She is also one of the editors at Higstylife Magazine.
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